“When he tired of official reports and memoranda and minutes, he would plug his foolscap-sized Newspad into the ship’s information circuit and scan the latest reports from Earth. One by one he would conjure up the world’s major electronic papers … Switching to the display unit’s short-term memory, he would hold the front page while he quickly searched the headlines and noted the items that interested him. … the postage-stamp-sized rectangle would expand until it neatly filled the screen and he could read it with comfort. When he had finished, he would flash back to the complete page and select a new subject for detailed examination.”
Every science fiction fan in their mid-thirties has a deep, almost pathological affection for Star Wars. While sitting in the theater as 6- and 7-year-olds, we surrendered ourselves to George Lucas’s universe like a post-coital praying mantis.
The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi* delivered on their promises of bigger and better Star Wars and a satisfying conclusion to the story. There were rumors of three more movies. Fifteen years passed with nothing and then, in 1999, The Phantom Menace was released. Finally, after nearly two decades, we were to be rewarded.
To say that we left the theater disappointed is like saying the sun is a little hot. I’ve tried to express the weight of this let down before, but I’ve never done it as well as some guy from Milwaukee, WI. You’ll be tempted to turn this off at first, but please don’t. Watch all 70 minutes. It’s fantastic and 100% accurate. Click below to watch all 7 segments of this epic rant.
*OK, so Jedi cheesed out a bit with the Ewoks. But we were willing to let that go in light of the first two.
It doesn’t have to be, of course. But the people in charge think you’re stupid.
This became apparent to me when that asinine Friends was a hit. Six beautiful, young New Yorkers spent all of their time drinking coffee out of enormous cups or solving serious problems in their gymnasium-sized apartment. Problems like, “Rachael can’t find the right shoes and her mother is coming to visit! What is she going to do? She really needs those shoes.”
It ran for 10 years.
Shows that actually engage your grey matter (other than the part that says, “Lift Bud Light to mouth”) get canned because their smaller audiences can’t sustain the obscene cash flow that executives demand. Despite critical acclaim and armfuls of awards, shows like Arrested Development and now Pushing Daisies are canceled. Battlestar Galactica is among the best shows on TV, and Sci-Fi treats it like Sloth.
Perhaps there ought to be a Quality Network. We’ll call it QN – TV For People Who Are Insulted By Knight Rider. Smaller audiences, smaller budgets, reduced broadcasting hours and a couple dozen KILLER shows.
It’s starting to happen on cable (Mad Men is a fine example). While the Big Four networks pump out another season of Wife Swap, cable is producing television we actually want to watch.
NBC’s The Office seems like an exception, until you realize it was saved by iTunes. NBC wanted to can it.
While recording the Sci-Fi Cast with Ged the other day, he said something that struck me. We were talking about JJ Abrams‘ plans for the upcoming Star Trek movie. Specifically, he wants use it to make hope hip again. To make positivity cool.
That sounds good, doesn’t it?
There is a tendency on the web, especially the tech web, towards snarky sarcasm. I perpetuated it for a while, but I’m done now. There’s enough negativity in the world.
Now, before you say I’m burying my head in the sand, I’ll tell you that I’m not. I know there are unpleasant things in the world. I just chose not to dwell on them.
So, expect to read the “good news” here at hardcore geek. Thanks for reading.
